the Adventures of Pastor Bill

The Little Things

2010-02-01T10:38:00.001-08:00

Today as I wandered over at 9ish to begin my Monday morning routine, I stumbled upon one of the elders steam cleaning the carpet. Last weekend our boiler melted down and threw out soot-laden steam/smoke. By the grace of God, and after a costly repair, the boiler was functional and the facility was warm for our Sunday activities. The only trouble was the meltdown and subsequent repairs had created a nasty residue in front of the door to the boiler, which is, unfortunately in our fellowship space. On Sunday I hemmed and hawed with a few elders about the mess that was cleaned to the best of our ability, but still inadequate. The end result was inaction on my part.
As I walked in today, however, an elder was cleaning the space with care and grace. No one asked him to do it. No one expected him to do it. He just did what needed to be done. It's those little things like this that matter so much to me as a pastor and encourage me. I am reminded that when I try to be flashy and great, that I have missed the point. It is the simple acts of service that really matter.
Once, when a couple of Jesus' disciples were jockeying for positions of prestige and authority in the Kingdom of God, Jesus responded by saying, "You know that among the Gentiles those whom they recognize as rules lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them. But it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many" (Mark 10:42b-45 NRSV). Sometimes the little things, like steam cleaning a mess, really are the big things.

Moving on up and over

2010-01-14T12:31:00.001-08:00

For the next few weeks, follow the 21 Day challenge at www.merrillpc.org/21day/.

-Pastor Bill

21 Day Challenge: Developing Spiritual Habits

2010-01-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

I have always been very interested in identity. In my teens and early twenties I wrestled and wrestled with my own sense of identity. I marveled at people who seemed to have no care (at least on the surface) for their own sense of identity. I was absolutely floored by my peers who seemed to have a strong sense of identity, even in young adulthood. The question, "Who am I?" is perhaps the most profound question I thought anybody could ask. After all, who is more important to know than one's own self?
Thanks be to God that in college I learned that there was one who was far more important to know than even knowing myself. In some dark days when, God shined his light a desire was placed in my heart to know God. Further, I knew (in the special way of knowing we call faith) that God knew me, all about me, even things I did not know about myself. Even further, as I came to know God more, through faith in Christ Jesus, I would come to know who I am in God's eyes, which is my true identity. Far greater than coming to know myself, I have found that the great question is, "Who is God?"
God did not leave us orphaned as we seek an answer to the great question, "Who is God?" Jesus Christ (and Christ alone I would add) is the revelation of who God is. Jesus, the Son of God, fully God in the flesh, reveals to the world who God is. So to come to know God means coming to know Jesus. Jesus himself said,"I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him " (John 14:6-7 NRSV).
So how does one come to know Jesus? What are reliable ways of getting to know Jesus? First, like anyone, one must be in relationship with Jesus to come to know him. I cannot know you and you cannot know me unless we have a relationship, i.e. a revelatory exchange. I must reveal things about myself and you yourself if we are to come to know one another (we will leave the problems of this model aside for now). The same is true for God and as Jesus himself said before, he is that revelatory communication, that information-giving/identity-exposing relationship in the flesh. Jesus is the revelation of God's identity in his being, speech and actions. That's why John earlier in the prologue of the Fourth Gospel is quick to say that Jesus is the Word of God made flesh (1:1; 14).
Now there could be many ways of coming to know the Word made flesh. We could have been one of those people blessed to walk with the savior, but we do not live in that time. We could believe that we receive open and new revelation from God, direct speech with Jesus, but it seems that those who claim such direct lines of communication often do or lead others to do things that seem contrary to who Jesus is as revealed in Scripture. And therein lies the trouble. In other words, the followers of Jesus must have an agreed upon source of revelation to judge whether some insight or idea regarding Jesus is actually true to who he is. We call that agreed upon source, Scripture, consisting of the books of the Old and New Testament. If some idea regarding God as revealed in Jesus is contradictory to the teaching of Scripture (which is admittedly a broad and often vague set of documents), then the followers of Jesus, those who seek to know God through faith in Jesus, can reject it outright. Of course, such processes are best done in a community of believers, i.e. a community of Jesus' followers, so to best avoid misinterpretation.
Now God is even more abundantly gracious than all that. Not only has God given us the gift of Jesus to reveal who God is. Not only has God given us the Holy Scriptures to be THE source without parallel to come to know Jesus. Not only has given us a community of fellow believers to help us all to read and study the Holy Scriptures. Not only all of those things, but God Himself, the Holy Spirit, is present with every follower of Jesus, giving the gift of faith and filling the follower with the necessary gifts and tools to truly come to know Jesus in person through the reading and study of Scripture. Even more, the Holy Spirit gives the followers of Jesus encouragement and strength to live as Jesus lived (Jesus was the full human being, revealing to us also what true humanity is).
So to come to know God, we need to know Jesus. And to know Jesus means to be guided in faith by the Holy Spirit. Of course, this also means joining human action to the divine provision outlined above. We simply cannot get to know Jesus unless we cultivate a relationship with Jesus. That relationship is nothing less and nothing more than pure grace which is ours by faith. Our faith is built up by the Holy Spirit through the study of Scripture, the following of Jesus' teachings and prayer. Jesus said, "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall because it had been founded on rock" (Matthew 7:24-25 NRSV). To build our house (our identity) on the rock (Jesus) we need to know him and his teachings and DO them. We can only build that house if we know and follow Jesus, if we live as Jesus lived. And we can only live as Jesus lived if we KNOW how Jesus lived.
So here's the challenge. Most of us know that it takes 21 days to form a habit, good or bad. If I do something for 21 days (without skipping a day, because then I have to start over) it becomes a habit. If we want to know God, we need to know Jesus as revealed in Holy Scripture by the testimony of the Holy Spirit. Thus, for the next 21 days read the Scriptures at least once a day. No prescription on how much, nor where to read. Rather, just open the Bible and read. I suggest starting with a Gospel, perhaps Matthew or John. Just read the Bible and let the Holy Spirit bring you into relationship with Jesus as you come to know God through him. Of course, reading Scripture is best when paired with prayer (open, simply and direct communication with God), so daily prayer should accompany daily Scripture reading.
If you are interested in the greatest question, "Who is God?" then you simply must come to know Jesus as revealed in Scripture by the Holy Spirit. There is no time like the present to get started and do not be surprised if you come to know yourself in the process.

Things I support (a little raving)

2009-12-26T19:43:00.000-08:00

Last week I made a list of 8 things with which I am officially done. As I am now in the Christmas spirit, I thought I would try to make a list of things that I view as good and exciting. Without further ado, 8 things I support:

1. The life-changing power of the Gospel: God changes people through faith in Christ Jesus. I love to see the Holy Spirit at work in the lives of people in our little community. I love to see that look in someone's eyes when they all of sudden connect with God in a surprising, yet deeply satisfying way. I just love it when people hear the Scriptures speak to them; those moments when Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth and the life" (John 14:6) and someone hears those words being spoken to him or her. I really live for those times.

2. Enjoying my job: Life is far too short to spend our time doing things that make us miserable. Sure, there are good parts and bad parts to every occupation, but I truly enjoy what I am called to do. I love studying the Scriptures, I love teaching, and I love connecting with people around faith. Sure, there are times that I wonder if I have not made a huge mistake, but then God reminds in some way or another that He called me to be a pastor.

3. Vacation: While I enjoy what I do, I also enjoy time away to relax. Ministry is tough work for an introvert and I need time to be quiet and alone. Vacation helps me to do that and I am thankful for it and highly recommend it to everyone. If you cannot take a vacation, you are doing it wrong.

4. Warm feet: During winter I think about my feet a lot. Warm socks and cozy slippers certainly are a luxury in winter, but I support any and all means to maintain warm feet.

5. Family Movie Night: While many family movies leave something to be desired, there are some real gems out there worth watching. Marian is especially fond of any movie involving a monkey. Warm blankets, good snacks and family-friendly entertainment is alright in my book.

6. Dale Bruner's commentary on Matthew: Here's a link to the part 1 of Bruner's excellent commentary on Matthew on Amazon: here. Simply put, this is the best commentary on any biblical book I have ever read. It is simply uplifting and informative.

7. Giving Marian bubble baths: Marian is the cutest little girl I know. She especially enjoys taking baths. She splashes, plays and from time-to-time attempts to drink the water. No matter, when she is done she has that clean baby smell and settles down to take a good long night's sleep. Marian sleeping is good for daddy sleeping.

8. Bringing flowers to my wife: Tamara likes flowers. I like bringing flowers to her. I used to do so more often and now not so much. Hmm, perhaps a new year's resolution is in the works here.

That's my list and I'm sticking to it.

Things I am done with (a little ranting)

2009-12-17T10:30:00.000-08:00

Over the last 2 and 1/2 years I have learned a very few things about pastoral ministry here in Merrill. Please note that I wrote, 'very few.' In general I am still trying to find my way through the maze of pastoral duties, congregational expectations and professional obligations. That being said, there are a few things with which I am done. I compiled them into a short list for easy access:

1. The Lectionary: I preached the lectionary for 6 months and then left it to go lectio continua. I just find that preaching a text without jumping over controversial passages is challenging both to me as the preacher and to the congregation. Plus, this helps with #2.

2. Biblical Illiteracy: I can handle that the culture is moving away from Christendom. What I cannot handle is the Church divorcing herself from knowledge of her Scriptures. I also am annoyed when people seek to criticize Christianity then show a woeful lack of knowledge concerning the central text of the faith. If for no other reason, people need to know the Bible to understand Western culture; its art, literature and background values.

3. Manipulation: The next person that passively-aggressively tries to triangulate me into doing something is getting both barrels of my sardonic wit.

4. HUGE portion sizes at restaurants: I am a man who loves to eat (I know gluttony is a sin, but what are you going to do?). Even I, however, have to throw my hands up and say, "Hey, that's too much for me." I would rather pay the same price for a reasonably sized meal than feel like I am wasting food. I get especially annoyed when I am on the road and the option of a doggy bag is unrealistic.

5. Wearing a watch: I quit wearing a watch a year ago. I do check the time and am on time to most appointments, but I am no longer a slave to the clock. Freedom is a good thing and I am thankfully living out my freedom given to me in Christ Jesus.

6. People who confuse weird and intelligent: Just because you are outside of cultural norms does not mean that you are intelligent or better. Sometimes weird is just weird.

7. Those who dismiss all Christians as unintelligent: Some Christians are anti-intellectual, anti-scholastic, and anti-science, but not all of us are. Some of us are quite intelligent and able to hold our own in intellectual discussions and debates. Remember, if you really want to argue against something, you look best when arguing against the best of your opposition. If you want to refute or argue against Christianity, pick on Calvin or Aquinas or Augustine or Barth.

8. Gross commercials: I hate watching a program and then, BAM, some lewd commercial comes on making everyone feel uncomfortable. I do not want to watch advertisements concerning sexuality and I wonder how effective those commercials are.

That's my list today and I'm sticking to it.

Should the Lord will it

2009-10-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

I meant to be in San Francisco this morning awaiting my training for reading ordination exams. Instead, I am sitting in my living room. My flight was canceled yesterday due to inclement weather. I suppose I should feel upset, but yet I have peace. After all, who wants to be on an airplane when the pilot/tower are unsure if it is safe to fly.
About a year ago my wife and I were delayed returning from a retreat due to a problem with one of the plane's engines. While our daughter awaited our return at her Nana's house, we calmly lived through the experience (and slept in a really dingy hotel room). A gentleman seated directly in front of us, however, stood up and screamed at the flight attendant, "You get this ----- plane in the air right ----- now, I have a meeting to catch in the morning." He apparently did not care if the plane would fall out of the sky, because he had business to which he needed to attend. I am not sure what meeting is important enough to risk your very life.
This morning I am reminded about the reason for my peace, that is Christ Jesus, our Lord. James, the brother of Jesus once wrote, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.' Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.' " (James 4:13-15). While I may have made other plans, the Lord's will is still sovereign. So when flights are canceled, when people are late for meetings, when sorrows like sea billows roll, I can have peace because I know I follow the Lord and His will will be done.
So instead of traveling today, I will study and pray, visit and meet, but most of all serve the Lord and seek His will.

Faith and family

2009-09-17T11:04:00.001-07:00

This week I am experiencing a real challenge. My wife's mother is very ill and so Tuesday my wife decided to go to Seattle to be with her. I completely support my wife's decision and believe she is doing the Lord's will in her presence with her mother.
The challenge comes on the home front. My beautiful and energetic one-year old is home with me, making even simple pastoral tasks very difficult. Even now I am stealing a few minutes during her naptime to put up this post.
As a family we need your prayers and most of all we need God to be strong in our weakness.

Help Wanted

2009-08-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

One of the most frustrating parts of being a pastor is volunteer recruitment and retention. I am blessed at Merrill Presbyterian Church to have a good number of people in the congregation who are willing to give of their time and talents to serve God by serving the community. Of course a good number of people is not everyone, but I'm not complaining.
At MPC we really run in seasons that are opposite of our farming community. Whereas farmers are pretty laid back in the winter, the staff (and congregation) of MPC are somewhat idle in the summer months (hence I take a lot of vacation in July and August).
As August begins to wind down, however, the church season turns to 'spring.' 'Spring' means we are preparing fields for ministry, planting new discipleship programs, evangelism opportunities, social justice and educational ministries. All of these planting activities require support from the pastor, the officers and (crucially) volunteers from the congregation. When Jesus looked on the many people in need he had compassion on them. He then said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few, therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." [Matthew 9:37-38]. I take that to mean that there will always be more ministry needed than ministers available to do the work.
So I come to the pastor's dilemma. I certainly have more time available than members of the congregation to do ministry, but I cannot possibly do it all, nor would it be healthy emotionally, physically or spiritually for me to do so. This year as a congregation we have some tremendous opportunities to do ministry. The question, then, is are you willing to step forward to serve? Are you willing to labor for the kingdom? Are you willing to step up and step out for the Gospel?

The Spirit and Baptism

2009-06-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

While I was pleased (at least doctrinally) with my sermon on Jesus' baptism yesterday, there was one exegetical point that really stood out to me that I was unable to capture.
Eugene Boring (a greater name for a biblical scholar I have yet to hear) points out that the Spirit comes to Jesus as he stands in the shallows of the Jordan just as the Spirit came to hover over the waters of creation. Boring (and Bruner) see in Christ the beginning of God's new creation. Whereas God had threatened extinction in the flood and wrought something somewhat new (or at least reclaimed) in the family of Noah and later the family of Abraham, in Jesus God was truly doing something new. In Jesus, the Son of God made flesh, God was creating a people with and by the Holy Spirit.
Paul, in his second letter to the Corinthians, states, "So if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away, see, everything has become new!" (5:17 NRSV). In Christ Jesus God inaugurated this new creation and through faith in Jesus, we are made new. Oh, we have fits and starts as the Holy Spirit works in us, but in God's eyes (and this is the most important perspective) we are already new.
Let us all live in the new way, the way of Jesus Christ as revealed in sacred Scripture.

Trinity talk

2009-05-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

I just had a Jehovah Witness man stop by the house today. It has been many months since a JW representative came by the manse. The man who came by was named David. He was well dressed and seemed to be truly enjoying walking around in the beautiful Merrill sunshine.
I introduced myself to David and told him I was the pastor of the Church right across the street. David's beaming smile dimmed and his hopeful stance shrugged when I shared this news. He was somewhat out of sorts when I next invited him to chat for a while.
David was unsure of how to proceed so I suggested that we might talk about the Trinity (a doctrine the JW, as neo-Arians, deny). David had a lot of trouble with the concept of God as three persons. He kept wanting to tell me that I was dividing the one God into three parts (modalism). I told him that I respected the diversity of the persons of God and that he did not respect their essential unity, trying to seperate the Son and the Spirit from the Father in some kind of hierarchy that I neither suggested nor implied.
David turned me to the popular JW passage for 'dealing' with my 'error.' He quoted the JW prooftext Colossians 1:15: "He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation." Actually, he first told me to read Colossians 1:18, "He is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything," which ironically is where his argument collapsed. As an orthodox Christian, I affirm the doctrine of the Trinity, that God is from all eternity Father, Son and Holy Spirit; three in one, one in three. I stand with the historic Church affirming that Jesus Christ is fully human AND fully divine. In quoting from Colossians, David took things out of context. The remainder of the paragraph affirms the supremacy of Christ and qualifies the 'firstborn' status of Jesus as the 'firstborn' from the dead, i.e. the firstborn of the NEW creation. (See also Hebrews 7:3 "Without father, without mother, without genealogy, having neither beginning of days nor end of life, but resembling the Son of God, he remains a priest forever. "for the eternal existence of the Son of God).
Now I am an arrogant man, one prone to harsh interrogation and cruel inquisition. This is my modis oprandi as a sinner. With David, however, God, the Holy Spirit, gave me the fruit of gentleness, and I am very thankful. David accused me of not being open to God's leading in my reading of Scripture (an unusual accusation coming from a JW). He told me that I was unable and unwilling to deny the doctrine of the Trinity, despite (in his opinion), there being little evidence of the Trinity in Scripture. I thought, though did not say, that it is odd to me that he is unable and unwilling to consider the possibility of the Trinity when he reads Scripture.
We discussed the topic for a while, but really made no headway in coming to a shared understanding. David denied the basic orthodox doctrine of the Trinity and would not countenance its possibility. I denied the Arian heterodox teaching of the Son as a creature and would not countenance such a possibility.
David said some strange things. He assured me that it was Satan and not God who led the magi to the Christ child. He questioned why Jesus would take time to speak to the Father if they were the same person (I attempted to correct him, explaining the Trinitarian viewpoint on such matters, but David continually returned to his old argument, which is evidence of programmed talking points, and not of clear investigation and thought). He finally attacked the Church (all of us orthodox folks) for not using the name of God, YHWH, (which he insists is correctly pointed 'Jehovah,' and I assured him it was not). His argument was that we DIShonor God by not using God's name in worship. I told him we refer to Jesus all the time and call God the Father by the name Jesus used for him, i.e. 'Father.' David also told me that the word, 'Lord' in the Old Testament was inappropriate in place of the name of God, despite its historical precedent (a point he categorically denied, i.e. the Septuagint did not use 'kurios' in place of 'YHWH'). It is clear that David and I were not easy conversation partners on matters of theology.
We parted company cordially, with David assuring me he would look deeper into the doctrine of the Trinity for my sake (with the implication that in our next meeting, he would set me straight). I welcome David's future visit, hoping that the Holy Spirit will break through the walls he has erected around his beliefs and reveal God's Trinitarian truth.

Matthew series

2009-05-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

"An account of the genesis of Jesus Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham" (Matthew 1:1)
Over the last week I spent a lot of time at a monastery in Mt. Angel. While the contemplative life is certainly not something I could see doing permanently, I appreciate the Benedictine sisters and their mission of hospitality. The peace and calm of the place certainly aided me in study and prayer. As the busyness of life slowed down, the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit was magnified.
I have felt for a while that Matthew was the next step in our preaching at MPC. What I was surprised to discover is that the path through Matthew that I thought might take as much as 7 months, will instead be a journey of over a year.
I hope and pray that the congregation will receive the new series with open arms and join in this journey through Matthew's account of the new creation that began in Jesus Christ.

Resurrection

2009-04-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

He is risen! He is risen indeed!

Today was an excellent day to worship.

I hope you all had a blessed day.

Baptism

2009-03-21T16:01:00.000-07:00

In the coming weeks MPC will celebrate the sacrament of baptism 5 times. Early this year I told my Session that it was my stated goal to baptize more people than I bury this year. So far this year the congregation has not had a death, so these five baptisms will be a good head start.
I love baptism and I view it as pure gift of joy that the Lord has called me to be a minister and allowed me to officiate at the celebration of the sacrament. While I know I in myself am there to maintain decency and order (1 Cor 14:40) I do enjoy sharing that moment with the person being baptized.
In my short ministry I have had the opportunity to baptize 2 whole families at the same time (you cannot get much closer to Acts than that) and that opportunity is going to present itself again next week with a mother and her two children. The following week our congregation will witness the sign of God's faithfulness for a toddler and an infant. All of these baptisms are a sign of God's claim and seal of the person as Christ's own forever.
I love to remind people that Jesus' own baptism is a paradigm for our baptisms. As we emerge from the water, a visible sign of an invisible spiritual reality (thank you Augustine), God's Spirit is present with us and God claims us as his own child (see Matthew 3:16-27).
Is there a better way to bring God's people together than a baptism? As we welcome in new people to the Church, we are all reminded of God's unfailing love for us.

Why Gideon?

2009-03-03T22:14:00.000-08:00

A few months ago at Little River Christian Camp (run by a nice couple) I sat planning out sermons through Resurrection Sunday. As providence would have it, the 1 Corinthians series ended on Transfiguration Sunday, meaning a new series would begin with Lent. I could not pass up the opportunity to do something special with those six weeks. But what could I choose?
I prayed and read, prayed and read, prayed and read and prayed. When I was done I felt fairly certain the book of Judges was the correct choice. I still have no idea why I felt that way and as I have been preparing sermons I still wonder how I feel so sure that it is the right decision (the Holy Spirit is like that sometimes I suppose). The trouble was the book of Judges was simply too large to treat adequately in six weeks. So I read and prayed, read and prayed, read and prayed. When I finished, it was clear that the Gideon cycle was the direction I was being led.
After bouncing my Lent plan off of one of my mentors, she asked a very important question, "Why Judges? Why Gideon?" As if she was not enough, my wife asked the same question. Now that I have launched into the series, I am sure more than a few in the congregation are wondering the same thing. The answer to the question is, honestly, I do not know except that it is the right thing for us here in Merrill right now.
Gideon, as a person in Scripture has always intrigued me (but so have several others like Moses, Ahab, Josiah, Peter and [of course] Jesus). Being intrigued with Gideon, however, is not enough basis for a sermon series. The question I have been struggling to answer is what does Gideon's story have to say to us in Merrill right now. Gideon is intriguing. He is perhaps the smoothest operator in all of Scripture (I mean, who else gets to test God not once, not twice, but three times and get away with it?). He reforms the worship of Israel and then leads Israel back into idolatry. He is absolutely the hero of Israel, but then oversteps the bounds of his call.
Gideon is not the reason for preaching through these chapters of Judges. Maybe I am just intrigued with the revelation of God in Judges. Many consider Judges a bloody and horrific book, but in it I see the God of righteousness and grace interacting with humanity, seeking to fulfill His providential purposes and provide for the fulfillment of His promises. Judges is the story of people who have every reason to give glory to God and worship God and God alone, but continue to turn away from God for reasons never fully explained. Maybe it was God's words through the prophet telling the Israelites, "But you have not given heed to my voice" (Judges 6:10b) that set me down this path.
In the end, I am not sure how to answer, "Why Gideon?" The only answer I can give is that the Holy Spirit led me to this text and in some way, in some form, Christ and Christ crucified is revealed in this as well.

Small Town Pastor Life

2009-02-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

I have been a small town pastor for about a year and a half now. While I am no expert, I have learned three main things about being a small town pastor during my time here so far:
1. "People do not care how much you know until they know you care." A fellow pastor who has been in this business for over 50 years told me that as I was preparing to begin my ministry at MPC. I know it was not original to him, but it was the first time I heard it. Over the last months I have learned that it is very true. People need to know their minister cares. They need to know their minister has a deep and abiding relationship with God, a rich commitment to Jesus Christ and empowering love of the Holy Spirit. People also need to see that care carry over to them. While I am nowhere near perfect at doing this, I am learning how to be a better minister.
2. "If you want something done right, get help." This is a recent lesson I am learning. If I try to do everything myself (in the vain attempt to be sure it is done well) then I cannot wonder why no one is willing to help. People like to be involved (and even better they love to be invited). While I am nowhere near perfect at recognizing people's gifts and talents, I am learning to ask for help.
3. "No program in the world can substitute for the presence of the Living God." In our Wednesday and Sunday morning Bible Studies we are looking at Old Testament prophets. I am struck how God time and time again rejects empty worship gesture, asking instead for genuine affection and obedience. The lesson I am learning is that programs are far easier to administer than ministering in the presence of the Living God. The challenge is I am called to the latter, and never the former.

Those are just a few things God is helping me to learn. What is God teaching you?

I am not good at relaxing

2009-01-23T17:37:00.000-08:00

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). Despite Jesus clear instructions and invitation, I find it hard to relax. At times I feel like relaxing is somehow a waste of time (which, by the way, I am pretty good at doing). I feel guilty that there is something I should be doing, someone I should be visiting, somewhere I should be.
Perhaps, despite my faith, I have trouble believing Jesus meant what he said. "Deny [yourself], pick up [your] cross and follow me," (Mt. 16:24) you betcha. "I will give you rest for your souls," um, well that just sounds too good to be true.
What is certain is that Jesus worked and rested throughout his ministry. He made time to be with the people, but also to find a quiet place for himself. Jesus went to weddings and feasts and never once seemed to think any of these things was a waste of time, was time he could have spent doing something else more productive.
I know I am a better pastor when I take my days off, but sometimes that is hard to believe. To try to convince myself of this I went on a retreat last October where they drilled it into my head that Sabbath-keeping was time well-spent. I even made a rule of life with sabbath-keeping (read resting) activities featured prominently. Despite all of that, I still feel, well, guilty about taking time off.
I think I need help and I am convinced only Jesus can provide that help. If only I could get over my unbelief.

A Few Easy Resolutions to Build Up Your Faith

2009-01-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

Every year I make new year's resolutions and every year I fall short. I am sure that this year will be no different.
That being said, I have found two easy resolutions that all of us can keep because all it involves is listening for about a half hour a day.
First, I am walking through the Bible in one year with the Daily Audio Bible (www.dailyaudiobible.com). Brian, the host, chooses a new English version each week and then reads through a daily selection. Each day's podcast is about 20 minutes. At the end of the reading Brian gives a short reflection and a few prayer requests. I know very little about him and his ministry, but his podcast ministry has been a blessing to me since about July last year and I look forward to this full year.
Second, I am also joining with the good folks of Princeton Theological Seminary (go Fighting Clergy) to listen through Calvin's Institutes throughout the year. A daily reading is about 10 minutes and has already given me much to think about as I listen instead of read. Details can be found at www2.ptsem.edu/ConEd/Calvin/.
I have also decided to listen to these two daily podcasts while exercising (we'll see how that goes).
I hope and trust that God will use these disciplines to teach and guide me as a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Cutting Teeth

2008-12-12T19:42:00.000-08:00

My daughter is cutting teeth.
I know that many parents have survived teething, but I am currently doubting whether I will survive with my sanity intact. Okay, that is a bit melodramatic, but my once reliably happy, cheerful, giggly girl has all of the sudden become cranky, irritable and mournful. I can only imagine the amount of pain she must be feeling and her frustration with her inability to communicate with her parents what is wrong.
Sometimes, I guess I can sympathize with Marian's teething. There are times when I feel hurt or sad or angry and I do not know just quite how to tell my Father in heaven. I had such an occurrence this last week. I heard horrible news and I cried out in anguish not quite sure how to express myself to God. I am thankful that in that time as in all times, the Holy Spirit was present with me in my weakness to carry to God what I could not in words. "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." (Romans 8:26-27, NRSV).
Prayer is powerful. More powerful than we can even imagine. Throughout my time in ministry I have witnessed many answers to prayer that seem absolutely miraculous. I have also been party to a quite a few times when our prayers seem to have gone unanswered. In all of those times, however, it was very powerful to know that the Creator of the Universe was listening to me and somehow that in itself is deeply comforting.
In this life as I cut my teeth of faith, I am thankful that God understands me even if I cannot express how I feel.

Keeping the Home Fire Burning

2008-11-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

This last week I was quite the traveler. I left last Monday and drove the family up to Little River Christian Camp for a few nights. While the family planned out hikes and activities, I, for my part, planned a few days of soaking in the Scriptures and praying for guidance. It was nice to be away from the usual environment and the usual busyness of being a solo pastor. It was joy to be surrounded by the glories of God's creation (even if that included continuous rain keeping the whole family in the cabin unexpectedly).
Further, my stay at the camp including me keeping a fire burning to keep me and my family warm. It has been a long time since I had to tend a fire, perhaps as long ago as my honeymoon and I took to the task with relish and, dare I say it, reverence. There is just something about tending a fire that fits with my personality. Once the fire is burning, it only takes occasional maintenance to maintain the burn. As I like a distraction every hour or two, it was the perfect activity for my retreat. The only time it posed challenging was at night because I would have to stoke up the fire and then pray I woke up a time or two throughout the night to keep the fire burning and, consequently, the cabin warm. So for three days last week I became the Keeper of the Flame.
My week ended with a trip to the meeting of the Presbytery of the Cascades. The meeting was largely uneventful, except for the dismissal of two congregations to the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. As I listened and thought and prayed during the discussion leading up to the dismissal I wondered what I was doing in the Presbyterian Church (USA). I understand my call as a minister and the obligation and commitment I feel to proclaim God's Word in word and deed. I feel the fire burning in my bones that the prophet Jeremiah comments on in Jeremiah 20:9:
"If I say, 'I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,' then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot."
Later, Jeremiah received an oracle that describes the nature of that burning fire in the bones when God asks, "Is not my word like fire, says the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks rock in pieces?" (Jeremiah 23:29). I know that God's Word in my life is a burning fire, a fire that needs to be tended so that it will keep me warm and snug all my life.
Perhaps that is why I feel a commitment to the Presbyterian Church (USA). My commitment to my denomination is similar to commitment to my family. I long to keep my brothers and sisters in the denomination warm even as I longed to keep my family warm in our little cabin this last week. Perhaps I am being paternalistic or even simplistic, but I view my ministry as an opportunity to warm others by the fire of God's Word.

Tired, so tired

2008-10-20T11:47:00.000-07:00

If at no other place in the Gospel, I know that Jesus gets me when he said, "Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30 NRSV).
Now as a pastor rest is not something that I do well. I am a victim of my own ego, which leads me to believe that the congregation I serve cannot function without me. While I do make a valuable contribution to the congregation, I know (or at least I should) that the congregation can not only function but do just fine without me.
This leads to the question: If the congregation can function without me, why do I work as if I am essential? Why do I not take time off to recharge?
Jesus valued rest. He consistently made time to pray and rest; indeed the quotation above is in the context of a prayer. If Jesus valued rest and modeled it himself, why do I consistently overwork myself?
I recently attended a Spiritual Friends retreat sponsored by Asbury Seminary (nice folks). The whole point of the retreat was to give me time to ask and answer those questions about rest. I am deeply thankful for that time and the rest I received sitting on the beach in Florida. What a joy to rest in the Lord.
I am glad I have had the opportunity to ask these questions and to face the reality that it is Jesus' church and I am just serving him through my work AND my rest.

Coincidence

2008-10-07T17:04:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday I had a good conversation with a friend of mine, Andrew, who is a pastor. We discussed an issue in his church and I was more than impressed (as usual) with the faithfulness and wisdom of my friend. As our conversation was drawing to a close we, without good reason, we began to talk about being confronted with issues and people we find challenging. We talked about this in the context of our congregations, wondering what our congregations would do if confronted with people that were radically different from themselves. As we were signing off, I encouraged Andrew with Mordecai's words from the book of Esther, "And who knows but that you have [been placed here] for such a time as this?" (Esther 4:14b). We then said our good-byes.
After I hung up the phone I took a trip to the local hardware store to pick up some light bulbs (and the latest small town news). As I was chatting with the hardware store folks I received a cryptic phone call from the Church Administrator saying, "You have a visitor waiting outside for you." I said good-bye and walked back to the church quickly wondering what appointment I had forgotten that morning.
As I walked into my office the Administrator greeted me, then walked past me to open the exterior door and invite a man into my office. The man refused to enter, but motioned for me to come outside. I went outside and quickly realized that 1. this man had not had a shower in probably a week; 2. he carried his possessions in a black garbage bag; and 3. he needed help in many ways. My immediate reaction was to withdraw and grow defensive and send the man away, but thankfully I dismissed that attitude and instead listened to the man (here I must thank the good folks in the chaplain's office of Trenton Psychiatric Hospital who trained and taught me to be a good listener).
The man was scattered in his conversation, but was emphatic that he was only looking for work today to get something to eat and a place to stay. We discussed the kind of work he was looking for (landscaping) and the current needs of the church grounds (weeding), set a wage and went to work. He worked hard and the church looked great. For my part, I talked with the man about his relationship with Jesus Christ and the deep burning questions he was rolling around in his heart and head (though I cannot say I helped to answer any of these questions, we did have a good talk).
As the afternoon wore on I asked the man where he was headed. "South," he said. I explained to him that if he headed south he was walking into the desert and he would surely die. He said, "Well, you know, I have faith and the Lord will take care of me." I replied to him, "Maybe my voice of reason is not a coincidence and the Lord put me here to stop your going out into the desert." He thought about these words and finally agreed that, in principle, it was possible.
As our relationship built over the afternoon, the man began to trust me. So when I suggested that I drive him up to the Gospel Mission in Klamath Falls he reluctantly agreed that perhaps he did need help. As we approached the Mission, however, the man resisted the idea again, even though I assured him that I would go with him and help him. Instead, he asked to be dropped off at a local park and said, "I just want to make my own way." I prayed with him and strongly encouraged him to accept the offer of help that was before him (which he politely refused). He left with a few dollars and some food.
Now I am not convinced that there is no such thing as a coincidence, but last Thursday was a day that showed me the Lord can move in truly mysterious ways. Did I do the right thing, the godly thing, the Christian thing? I don't know. I do know that I did not spend the time I had alloted on my sermon preparation and the service Sunday ran a bit too long as a result. I do know that I do not regret entering into relationship (however brief) with the man. I do know that perhaps, just perhaps, God placed me here last Thursday for such a time as that.

Frustrations

2008-09-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

This last May and June we had to make a choice between a healthy garden and a healthy baby. Marian is doing great, our garden not so much. I was utterly amazed at how fast the weeds grew and soon took over the garden patch. With some serious help from our family we were able to clear the weeds and tarp over the garden in anticipation of planting a rose garden in the coming spring.
One of the great things about living in Merrill at over 4000 feet is that the temperatures cool off every night. That also means we can get some serious wind blowing down the basin toward us. Despite several fixes and multiple ground staples, our black tarps were ripped away by the wind time after time. In addition the neighborhood cats had discovered that they could push the tarp aside and, uh, make a deposit. My wife eventually decided that we would need to put down some bark in order to maintain the tarps and keep down the weeds.
My wife made some calls and found a nursery in town that was willing to supply us with bark for $120 for four cubic yards with a delivery fee of $50. For only $170 our frustrations with the garden would be over until next Spring.
Yesterday my wife took a trip into town to one of the local nurseries to procure some bark for our soon-to-be rose garden. She carefully got the baby ready and drove up to the nursery. When she mentioned her telephone call, the lady at the desk told her that unfortunately the price of the bark had gone up $8 a yard since her call (the Friday prior). And, what's worse, the delivery charge to Merrill was higher. Even still, the price was still reasonable to put the frustration behind us (plus, it was still cheaper than anywhere else in town). My wife signed on the dotted line and they said they'd deliver first thing in the morning.
At dinner last night my wife and I had a long discussion about what, "first thing in the morning" means at a nursery. Just to be sure we would not miss the delivery my wife rose early this morning to meet the delivery truck-that never came.
When she called the nursery, the lady on the phone told her that the order had been misfiled and the truck could be out tomorrow first thing in the morning. Frustrated, but unable to do anything else she agreed to see them first thing in the morning (still unclear what that could possibly mean).
Frustration is an odd emotion. I suppose it is akin to anger, but coupled with a deep sense of helplessness. I believe it must be the emotion Paul felt when he stated, "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate" (Romans 7:15). Paul, when faced with his own actions, was frustrated with himself. He was confused, angry and pained by his sense of helplessness. Like Paul, all who feel this way know that Christ is the only way to alleviate the frustration. Christ can ease our frustrations with ourselves. While we may still do the things we hate, Christ brings us forgiveness. It might not be the total cure for frustration, but then maybe some frustration is alright. Maybe we need to be a little frustrated with they way we fail to follow Christ and live for God in our lives. That frustration motivates us to rise up again tomorrow and with God's help dedicate ourselves to Christ's service once more.
I just hope the delivery truck shows up tomorrow for the sake of my wife's sanity.

Victory Before the Battle

2008-09-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday night I read Psalm 149 with the Session. It was an arbitrary decision, but the Holy Spirit definitely had a lesson for me that night.

Psalm 149 (NRSV)

Praise the Lord!
Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise in the assembly of the faithful.
Let Israel be glad in its Maker; let the children of Zion rejoice in their King.
Let them praise his name with dancing, making melody to him with tambourine and lyre.
For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with victory.
Let the faithful exult in glory; let them sing for joy on their couches.

Let the high praises of God be in their throats and two-edged swords in their hands, to execute vengeance on the nations and punishment on the peoples, to bind their kings with fetters and their nobles with chains of iron, to execute on them the judgment decreed.
This is glory for all his faithful ones.
Praise the Lord!

As we read through this Psalm and talked about its meaning I first remarked that the Psalm had several warfare images in it that are out of vogue in the mainline church. I really think this is too bad, because when we exclude warfare imagery we lose a lot more than we gain. First, believers begin to view themselves as doormats, laying down in the face of opposition rather than standing up to fight for what is right. Second, we lose the joy of Christ's VICTORY on the cross. Third, the Greek word, euagglion, was often used to announce the Good News of victory in battle. There is truly a victory in our faith, a victory of Christ over sin, death and the devil upon the cross. To dismiss passages like Psalm 149 because of their warfare imagery is unacceptable. To reject warfare imagery in the church is to truncate the Gospel.

As I read this Psalm over, I am also struck by its order. The Psalm begins with a celebration. The victory party is in the BEGINNING. The battle comes next. In our Christian faith, the beginning is victory, the battle follows. In Christ Jesus we have already achieved victory over sin, death and the devil. After the victory begins the war between the flesh and the spirit. The victory is assured, but the battle is still fierce.

Let's stand on the side of Christ Jesus who gives us the victory and continue to fight, continue to struggle, continue to take up your arms and battle on, Christian soldier.

Bikers Welcome

2008-08-28T09:56:00.000-07:00

Labor Day is this coming Monday so I took the opportunity on Sunday to remind the congregation that we will still be gathering for worship on Sunday. While I'm sure more than a few members of the congregation will take the opportunity of an extra day off to sneak away for the weekend, I have some hopes that our little sanctuary may be full of people. You see, this weekend there is a major motorcycle rally in the next town over, Tulelake. All around town signs have been going up on local businesses to let bikers know that they are welcome there.
As I saw these signs, I began to wonder to myself if we as a church should put up a similar message. Yesterday morning a group of church folks were gathered in the fellowship hall to fold up our monthly newsletter. I asked them about my idea to put "Bikers Welcome" on our reader board and they all thought it was a good idea. So I went out and hung the letters to invite the bikers who happen to see it to join us for worship on the Lord's Day.
As I have thought about my decision I have been reminded about Jesus' calling his disciples, specifically Matthew's call. "As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, 'Follow me.' And he got up and followed him" (Matthew 9:9). Matthew was a tax collector and thus a social outsider, I would argue by his own choice. The biker culture, at least as far as I understand it, thrives on the idea of being an outsider, of being rejected by the society and thus rebelling against that society. Jesus invites outsiders to follow him, to walk with him, to be his disciples. Jesus, in inviting Matthew and bikers to follow him, in essence said, "I do not care what others think of you or what you are trying to do or be. You are my beloved, the one I love and I desire you to walk with me, to love me, to follow me."
Now my sermon is taken from 1 Corinthians 5, Paul's strong chastisement of the Corinthians concerning their sexual immorality. I wonder how that will go over?

What is it, exactly, that I do here?

2008-08-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

What better way to spend vacation than to start a new project.

I suppose the whole reason I am doing this is that I really just want to figure out what it is, exactly, that I do here. This is really a life quest of mine and has been for quite some time. Just when I think I have an answer to the question, the context in which I originally asked the question seems to shift on me. Recently I have been studying through the Gospel according to Matthew with our Thursday night Bible Study here in Merrill. We came across a passage in the 17th chapter that completely rattled my cage (Mt 17:13-16):

"Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, 'Who do people say that the Son of Man is?' And they said, 'Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.' He said to them, 'But who do you say that I am?' Simon Peter answered, 'You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.' "

Jesus goes on to tell Peter that this revelation came to him from God and was not his own making (something with which I resonate deeply as a Reformed Christian). But that is not what hit me that day or this day. As I have continued to roll this verse around in my head I just cannot get beyond the direct way Jesus asks his questions.

Jesus asked all the disciples who other people said he was and they gave a variety of answers, a variety of speculation, a variety of guesses. Then, however, Jesus asked them the more important question, "But who do YOU say that I AM?" (emphasis mine). I suppose as I wonder about what it is a boy from South King County is doing in a small farming town in southern Oregon I have to come back to that question, oddly enough, over and over again. Jesus did not ask the disciples to recount his miracles or to go into a theological diatribe about the hypostatic union. Jesus simply wanted the disciples to tell him their beliefs, their ideas about him, their witness to him. In short, Jesus asked his disciples to confess their faith.

As I think about the important questions facing us all, I am struck by the beautiful simplicity of Jesus' question. That simple question of identity seeps into all of us and seeks to transform us, changing the way we see the world, the way we see each other, and much more importantly, our very identity. Jesus Christ permeates my very being, all that I am and all that I say, do, feel, and think. When I make decisions, when I say anything, when I perform any action, I am answering Jesus' question to his disciples. Now I am sure my answer is rarely if ever as eloquent as Peter's reply, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." Usually it is probably something like, "Well, I have some really great books on Christian doctrine that use all sorts of fancy words, but clearly from my actions, though I can go on at length about these ideas, I am still not sure exactly who you are. I do know one thing, and it is the one thing I know, You, O Christ, are my Lord, my Savior, my life, though I often do a rotten job of being a witness to that truth."

So what is it, exactly, that I do here? I really do not know. Being a pastor is a strange occupation, but it is the call of God on my life. I really only know that through this all I am seeking to answer with my life that question of Jesus: "But who do you say that I AM?"